healthy-social-intelligence-for-success-in-life
Healthy Social Intelligence-for-Success In Life

Social Intelligence Definition (SI) is the ability to get along well with others, as they get along and cooperate with you.  Sometimes referred to simplistically as “people skills,” SI includes an awareness of situations and the social dynamics that govern them, and a knowledge of interaction styles and strategies that can help a person achieve his or her objectives in dealing with others.  SI is similar to, but at the same time, different from emotional intelligence (EI).

See article “Importance For Emotional Intelligence In Leadership”.  SI is separate from, but complimentary to emotional intelligence and we need both models in order to understand ourselves and the way we interact with others.  Some deficits in SI arise from inadequate development of EI; conversely, some deficits in SI may lead to unsuccessful social experiences which may undermine a person’s sense of self-worth which is part of EI.

According to Daniel Goldman, author of the 1998 Study “Working With Emotional Intelligence”, emotional intelligence is the basis for mastering the skills of self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management, which translates into on-the-job success, for example.  SI also involves a certain amount of self-insight and a consciousness of one’s own perceptions and reaction patterns.  A low level of social intelligence usually results in the inability to connect with people and influence them effectively, which causes people to feel devalued, angry, frustrated, guilty or otherwise inadequate.

An indication of a high level of social intelligence is the ability to make a person much more effective in dealing with others making people feel valued, respected, affirmed, encouraged or competent.  SI, along with EI, and others forms of intelligences, such as practical intelligence (Common-sense capabilities) and abstract intelligence (conceptual reasoning), are part of the theory of multiple intelligences advanced by Professor Howard Gardner of Harvard University. Gardner’s “MI” theory has become widely accepted in recent years, particularly in the area of public education.

social-intelligence-leaders-at-work
Social Intelligence Leaders At work

Can you improve SI?  Absolutely, because SI is a combination of skills expressed through learned behavior, or “street smarts”, and then assessing the impact of one’s behavior on others, to the degree to which one is successful in dealing with others.  According to a 2018 Harvard Education Review, SI is an acquired trait that grows with the person throughout life by paying attention to other people, understand yourself, improve your communication skills, be empathic, learn how to resolve conflict, and invest in your relationships.

It is quite clear that adults who lack insight and competence in dealing with others can make significant improvements in their SI status as a result of understanding the basic concepts. Having strong SI allows one to enjoy satisfaction and fulfillment with life, because of positive thoughts and actions, while you experience feelings that are completely healthy and full of energy.  You also possess the ability to be able to live a life where you feel a sense of belonging and social inclusion.

Humans are social creatures, who are mutually dependent on each other.  It is in our DNA.  Even infants by the time they’re 2 years old are well on their way to becoming social experts by having a good understanding of human actions, according to a National Institutes of Health study.  A socialable person is a supported person in society.  The self has meaning only within the social context, according to a 2009 study published in Perspectives on Psychological Sciences, and it is not wrong to say that the social situation defines our self-concept and our self-esteem.

We rely on others to provide a “social reality”, or a “shared-reality”, to help us determine what to think, feel, and do.  It involves one building a life-long, stable, peaceful, reciprocal, and positive relationships with others.  According to an NIH study concerning SI, it is proposed that that although humans are inherently social, they are also incredibly lonely and inherently are drawn to social connections, and it is this loneliness which allows us to step back and really appreciate one another as individual social beings.

healthy-social-intelligence-in-family-relationships
Healthy Social Intelligence In Family Relationships

Wikipedia’s definition of social intelligence as,

is the capacity to know oneself and to know others, an aggregated measures of self and social awareness, evolved social beliefs and attitudes, and a capacity and appetite to manage complex social chances.  Psychologists Nicholas Humphrey believes that it is a social intelligence, rather than quantitative intelligence, that defines who we are as humans.

Read more on social intelligence from Wikipedia here.

Everyone needs love.  But, we also all have a desire to give love, as well.  It’s a universal human phenomenon, but scientists have long struggled to pin down the biological foundations of love.  In a new study, scientists have found humans evolved to fall in love. The research, published in Frontiers of Psychology, studied the modern-times “hunter-gatherer” sect  Hadza of Tanzania, which more closely resembled our earlier predecessors.  The study showed that love influences reproductive success, as measured by the number of children people have, based on humans evolutionary past as a “hunter-gatherer”. Quoting the study:

Selection promoted love in human evolution.

Lifestyle, ways of living together, values and moral beliefs, traditions, customs, healthy physical environment and stable ecosystem, and shelter, are all important to social intelligence, and your overall optimum health.  Involvement in your own culture can be very rewarding, not to mention very healthy, giving you an opportunity to retain, interpret, and express the arts, history, culture, heritage, and traditions.

management-use-of-social-intelligence-in-workplace
Management Use of Social Intelligence-in-Workplace

Participating in various cultural activities in your community, is not only conducive for optimum health and psychological well being, but, will also enhance positive emotions and feelings, and social connections developed with others, bringing one satisfaction and happiness, and inner peace, according to an NIH study.  Not only will your strong social intelligence have a positive impact on you internally and emotionally, social contacts and activities are beneficial in building your career, and encouraging your own creativity and expression.

It’s important you participate in other diverse cultural activities other than your own, because it will provide opportunities to obtain a wider, more diverse social knowledge, and worldly experience.  Puncky Heppner, a University of Missouri professor in the College of Education, and also recognized by American Psychological Association (APA) for his cross-cultural work by giving him the Award for Distinguished Contributions to the International Advancement of Psychology, one of the highest awards given by the APA, had this to say about the broad benefits of understanding other cultures:

We are all living in cultures with different norms,

Heppner said.

Culture affects human behavior.  The more we learn about other cultures, the better teachers, mentors, scholars and therapists we can be.  Ultimately, understanding different cultures makes us better people.

healthy-social-intelligence-in-exercise-activities
Healthy Social Intelligence In Exercise Activities

Being completely alone for extended periods of time is not ever healthy.  Lack of social networking effects you negatively, not only by you feeling alone, but also, you not having support of others, such as family and friends, in your life.  Of course, you need time to yourself occasionally, for healthy mental activities like being mindful and self-centering,  for meditation, for reflection and prayer, and for rest and relaxation.  We all need downtime at different times and we should all pursue alone time.

However, complete solitude can cause psychological damage, that could include hullcinations, panic attacks, paranoia, lack of impulse control, hypersensitivity, and the loss of memory, recall, and concentration.  Numerous studies support the link between social isolation and seclusion with mental disorders.  Here are a couple:  American Psychological Association (APA) “Social Isolation: It Could Kill You”, and The National Institute of Aging (NIH) “Social Isolation, Loneliness In Older People Pose Health Risks”.  For more information on how to achieve and maintain a good social life, read this article “How To Social Network.”

Being able to maintain higher levels of overall social intelligence and well being and avoiding isolation, are associated with decreased risk of disease, illness and injury, better immune resistance, speedier recovery and healing, and increased life longevity.  Here is one example of many studies of the ill-effects of not being socially active to physical health.  The European Society of Cardiology concluded in a study that loneliness is bad for the heart and a strong predictor of premature death in both men and women.  If you are able to maintain a higher level of social intelligence, you will become more productive personally, in your career, and more likely to contribute beneficially to your community, as well.

healthy-social-intelligence-for-long-satisfying-life
Healthy Social Intelligence For Long Satisfying Life

As we already know, optimum health is so much more than absence of disease. It is a state you achieve that allows you to realize your dreams and aspirations, satisfying your needs, and you having the ability to cope with your environment, in order for you to live a long, productive, and fruitful life.  The World Health Organization (WHO) describes wellness as much more than the absence of illness and infirmity; it is practicing health-promoting- behaviors to achieve your full potential.  In other words, wellness is the pursuit of your best possible health and well-being, as a conscious choice, self directed and self motivating.

The external factors which affect your social well being, are intelligence, in it’s different forms such as IQ, EI, and SI, in particular; morals; taught values, or your upbringing; empathy; altruism; ability to adapt to change; freedom; trust; and equal rights. It is a proven fact statistically, good, strong relationships will bring you happiness and you will live a longer and healthier life.  An over 80 year study began in 1938 at Harvard Medical School of 268 Harvard students has proved that embracing community helps us live longer, and be happier.  By the way, John F. Kennedy was in the original study group.

The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health,

said Robert Waldinger, director of the study, a psychiatrist at Massachusetts General Hospital, and a professor of Psychology at Harvard Medical School.

Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.

Regular and positive social contact, honesty and open communication with your significant other, with your family, with your close friends, your neighbors, your coworkers, will result in you maintaining your social intelligence and well being and overall health.  Most humans it seems, prefer to be honest even if lying is beneficial to them, according to one recent study published in Natural Neuroscience.  The research included scientists from the Virginia Tech Carilion Research Institute and the University of California at Berkeley, had volunteers decide between honesty and self-interest in an economic “signaling game”.

healthy-social-intelligence-listening-in-relationships
Healthy Social Intelligence Listening In Relationships

People feel good when they’re honest and they feel bad when they lie,

King-Casas, Assistant Professor of Psychology,  said.

Self-interest and self-image are both powerful factors influencing a person’s decision to be honest.

In addition, regular participation in sports clubs or a gym, volunteer groups, churches, dinner parties, special interest groups, community organizations, hobby groups, are desirable and beneficial to your social intelligence and overall health.  The American Psychological Association (APA) has a program linking professionals with different APA Divisions which not only covers psychology but also topical areas like aging, ethnic minorities, and trauma, even if you are not a member of APA.

Understanding social intelligence and how it relates to optimum health, is understanding your role and ranking status in your community, and the importance it plays in maintaining your social healthy and well being state.  When we say social status, we are referring to your acceptance into your community because of the trust and companionship you have built in the community, as a result of your positive actions and contributions, not because you earned your status because of monetary or material wealth.

The real status and real value, I am talking about is the trust, respect, and appreciation you have gained from others in your community.  Of course, the opposite is true for liars and dishonest people, who struggle from various physical and mental negative health issues, according to research, such as one study cited by the APA.  Per the study, telling the truth when tempted to lie can significantly improve a person’s mental and physical health, according to a “Science of Honesty” study presented at the American Psychological Association’s 120th Annual Convention.  When you reach your potential to be the best you can be, achieve what you want out of life, and know all things are going well, you know you have arrived.

social-intelligence-couples-enjoying-healthy-social-dancing
Social Intelligence Couples Enjoying Healthy Social Dancing

Here is an interesting statistic.  Older adults have a higher, more stable and balanced social intelligence and well being, and are generally happier than young and middle-age adults, according to a couple of NIH studies.  Why do you suppose that’s true?  Why do you think that’s significant?  One study concluded that older adults were, on average, more satisfied with their lives than young and middle-aged adults because of strong relationships built on their desire to closely relate to and cooperate and merge with others.

Whereas the younger and middle-aged adults were more interested in striving to master the environment, to assert the self, to experience competence, achievement, and power, in their own sense of accomplishment.  Another NIH study found that 360 Chinese adults’ Subjective Well-being (SWB) increases as they grew older.

The findings suggest that older adults may use their increased emotional intelligence, complimented by their social intelligence, to enhance their SWB.  You should readily see the importance of strengthening your social and emotional intelligence and establishing strong social ties, for achieving your full potential, happiness, and well being (SWB).

You’ve Made A Commitment, But There’s A Problem!

So, you have made a commitment to strengthen your social intelligence and bring balance to your well being so you can really start truly enjoying the fruits of life.  Understanding the Social Intelligence Definition you and your spouse have committed to work on your relationship.  You are both openly communicating, cooperating with each other, trusting and respecting each other, and assisting and supporting each other.

debilitating-unhealthy-chronic-stress
Debilitating Unhealthy Chronic Stress

You are spending more quality time with your children and really enjoying them.  You’ve joined the softball team to be with some of your closest friends.  You have volunteered some of your time to assist your community church.  You are visiting your local gym in order to get some physical exercise.  But, you and your family are also eating poorly on the run in fast foods places, because of time constraints.  Everything is moving along fine, or, at least you think so?

Then, all of a sudden, without warning, you hit a wall!   You are having trouble concentrating at work, falling asleep at 1:00 in the afternoon at your work desk, and you’re to tired to communicate with your spouse when you get home.  So you go silent, placing a strain on the relationship with your wife.  Instead of turning the alarm off at 6 AM and heading to the gym to exercise, you roll over and fall back to sleep because you are exhausted.

Your sleep cycle is out of whack, having trouble falling asleep, and you sleep restless all night, waking up several times during the night.  Your stress levels are reaching the breaking point, your energy level has become completely depleted, your eyes are blurry, your emotional and mental state has become really strained.  You have come to the conclusion, there are not enough hours in the day, to achieve all you have committed to do, and something has to give!

You loose your motivation, because it’s become to tiring and burdensome to continue at this present pace.  You are completely stressed out!  Numerous studies have shown the detrimental effects of chronic stress both physically and mentally.  Here is just one NIH example of stress’ negative health effects.  Go here to learn a solution to your stress, and to get two free gifts.

unhealthy-gene-deforming-fatty-processed-foods
Unhealthy Gene-Deforming Fatty Processed Foods

You are eating even less healthier too, because you have had to eat more unhealthy foods like unhealthy processed or refined foods, or precooked foods, high-sugar, processed meats, or high-sodium foods, fried foods, or microwavable foods, all completely depleted of nutrients, and harmful to you and your family’s health and it’s really showing, compounding the problem.  So, what are you to do?

The Solution

The problem is not time or your active schedule.  The problem is the unhealthy foods you and your family are eating!  First and critically important, you should make a conscience effect to eat (and your family) the freshest, certified organic, well-balanced, nutrient-dense foods you can get your hands on.  Find a farmers’ market to buy fresh organic fruits and veggies, or use the sources we recommend.

All nutrient-dense foods should be grown certified organic also and GMO-free, per another NIH study.  One very good option here is to plant fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds, in your own backyard garden, because you will not only be getting the freshest wholesome produce on the planet, you’ll be doing your body some good with some good-old physical activity.

Here are the foods we recommend: grass-fed finished lean meats, fresh, organic, free-range finished poultry, grass-fed finished dairy and eggs (A); fresh cold-water or wild-caught fish and seafood (A); fresh organic fruits, vegetables, raw nuts, and seeds (A); and organic whole grains and complex carbohydrates, natural fermented foods, monounsaturated oils like extra virgin olive oil, fresh organic herbs and spices, and antioxidant drinks, infused water, naturally fermented red wine and beer, and fruit and veggie smoothies (A). And, reward yourself with a piece of dark chocolate for a snack! Yes, that’s right, dark chocolate, not milk chocolate (A).

incredible-healthy-nutrient-dense-variety-of-food
Incredible Healthy Nutrient-Dense Variety Of Food

Start preparing fresh healthy and balanced meals for you and your family, at least once a day rather than eating out.  Studies, like this NIH study, has shown the health benefits of preparing home-cooked meals because you can make better nutritious choices and just as important family time together.  It’s also important to understand the importance of buying fresh produce.  Modern food industry standards and practices do not supply the general public with foods high in nutritious value.

In fact, as a general rule, as much as 50 percent of the nutritional value of the foods available for the general public, is lost, because of refrigeration and the time involved from the farm to your grocery shelves.  According to the a University of Akron study, researcher at Penn State University recently studied the effects of storage on the nutrient content of fresh spinach, for example, and found the spinach retained only 53% of its folate, a key amino acid nutrient, after only being 8 days old.

Then, you should supplement your diet and your family’s diet, daily with the natural, organic, nutritious, whole-food Adaptogen Peruvian Maca (A).  P Maca is a natural superfood and is a rich nutritious source of protein, plant fats and fatty acids (omega 3s), vitamins, minerals, enzymes, trace elements, phytonutrients (anti-cancer properties) , twenty amino acids, and antioxidants.

healthy-antioxidant-rich-nutrient-dense-peruvian-maca
Healthy Antioxidant-Rich Nutrient-Dense Peruvian Maca

This superfood increases physical and mental energy and will be noticed almost immediately by you, providing you the sufficient physical energy, stamina, endurance, and mental sharpness, increased memory, and recall, in order to cope with modern-day stressors and challenges, and your demanding busy schedule.  As an Adaptogen, P Maca assist your body in boosting your ability to resist stress, illness, and disease.  Helps you strengthen bones and teeth, improves you healing process, promotes good prostrate health, and helps to restore red blood cells, prevents anemia, helps maintain good alkalinity balance, and cardiovascular disease.

P Maca is also good for skin issues, aiding in clearing acne and blemishes, and strengthening your skin’s sensitivity to extreme temperature changes.  This natural healer promotes hormone balance in your endocrine System, regulating and balancing your hormones, balances your emotional and mental state, eliminating symptoms like anxiety and stress depression, mood swings, and loss of memory, caused by chronic stress.

Most importantly, it will supply you with enough energy in building your social intelligence and long, lasting strong social relationships, and your experiences will always be positive and healthy, as a result.  “What Is In Maca Root?” is a good article to read for more in depth information and documented studies.  Here is an example of one of those studies. The wide ranging benefits of Peruvian Maca are well documented, and are incredible, per this NIH study.

Practicing a couple of other things can help reduce your chronic stress along with eating the proper foods and supplementation. One is deep-breathing exercise.  Studies have shown the positive effect of diaphragmatic breathing on mental function and stress reduction in adults.

long-living-"mindfulness"-meditation-for-social-intelligence
Long Living “Mindfulness” Meditation For Social Intelligence

Another is meditation.  Meditation is a mind and body practice that has a long history of use for increasing calmness, by reducing stress, and physical relaxation, improving psychological balance, coping with illness, and enhancing overall health and well-being. According to a 2017 National Health Interview Survey, found that U.S. adults’ use of meditation in the past 12 months tripled between 2012 and 2017.  That tells you it works!

What if you could talk to anyone, anytime, using the power of body language to create
an instant social connection?  Checkout this Ramit Sethi video (1).  Now that you have a clear understanding of what Social Intelligence Definition is, what are you going to do about your own situation?  Are you ready to take action?  Should you have any questions or comments, please contact us.

(A) Use these links for more in depth information, more documented studies, and to purchase any of these incredible nutrient-dense foods for gene health.

(1)  I will teach you how to be rich Video